A Boob Job, or How I Learned To Love My Breasts

Sorry my friends, this is not about boob enhancement or cosmetic surgery. Please keep on reading anyway. This article is about breast awareness, breast cancer and loving your boobs. Don’t think breast cancer won’t happen to you or your partner. IT CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE, even men! Statistics show that in today’s society 1 in 8 women and 1 in 763 men will be diagnosed with breast cancer. Thanks to medical technology it doesn’t have to be a death sentence anymore.

Early breast cancer can be treated successfully. I definitely didn’t think it was going to happen to me. I was in my sixties, in the process of retiring and really enjoying a more relaxed lifestyle. I did yoga, bushwalking and rode my bike to my weekly line dance classes. I was fit as a fiddle and on top of the world as we had booked a trip overseas. I had always checked my breast on a regular base. So one night in bed I did it again and found a lump in my right breast.

Many women have asked me: “What are you supposed to look for and how does it feel”? Well I definitely felt that there was something wrong; the lump was hard as a rock and about the size of an almond kernel. A lot of these lumps appear to be benign, so I didn’t panic straight away. ”She’ll be right!”, but I went to see my GP anyway. He sent me for a mammogram and ultrasound. When the results came back as “highly suspicious” I had a needle biopsy.

The departure date for our trip came closer and closer but I was still optimistic and hoping I would be OK. A week later we got the bad news, yes it was breast cancer. I was so in denial and remember asking the registrar breast oncologist “Could treatment wait until we came back from overseas”? She went out to call in the big boss; he spoke to me in a very severe and convincing way:” NO it couldn’t wait”. I was booked in for a lumpectomy and we went home, defeated and all and cancelled our trip to Hollandand our lovely Singaporestopover. Thank God we had taken out travel insurance and we were totally refunded.

As it happened, I was the sixth person in our short street with 16 houses diagnosed with breast cancer. My darling neighbour died of it. I started to wonder, was there something wrong with our street? Was it built on top of a toxic dump? If I’d been younger I would have liked to research it, but I just simply don’t have the energy. The lumpectomy was a day procedure. They also took out a few lymph nodes and unfortunately when they came back from pathology, it turned out that the cancer had spread to the lymph glands under my arm. I had a CT scan to check all the other glands in the body and we were very relieved to hear that the cancer hadn’t spread to other organs. So a few weeks later I had another operation to remove 10 lymph nodes under the arm. I also underwent six courses of three-weekly chemotherapy and 25 sessions of radiotherapy, just as a precaution in case any cancer cells were left behind. All in all a terrible winter of staying in doors, feeling sick and extremely exhausted.

The chemo attacks and destroys the white blood cells (and hopefully the cancer). In the meantime the body, which is truly a wonderful mechanism is working very hard to make new blood cells, hence the tiredness. I lost all my hair and had beautiful smooth, hairless legs. I didn’t need a Brazilian and was a real smoothie! I also lost 8kg but was quite happy with that. So you see, every cloud has a silver lining.

I had always been a very active person and found it very hard to spend so many hours indoors and in my bed. Fortunately I have many wonderful (nudist) friends who supported me. The outpouring of love was very touching. On my very few good days I was able to go out and see a movie or go to a local cafe. I was also working on a presentation for Northside’s 50th birthday celebration and that always brought a big smile on my face. On one of those good days, usually at the end of the three weeks cycle I went to see the show “Busting out”, created and played by Emma Powell and Bev Killick. It is the female equivalent of “The Puppetry of the Penis”. If you haven’t seen any of these shows, you have missed a great opportunity. “Busting out” which features nudity from the waist up is all about girls and their boobs: “tid(t)bits, tit-songs and tit-tricks”. Did you realize that a breast could be made to look like a hamburger, a doughnut, a baby or a plumber’s crack? I found it absolutely hilarious and to have a good laugh in all my misery was so liberating and healing. Critics called the show “titillating, mammographic”, Cirque du Boobleil”. At the end of my “annus horribilus” I was the happiest woman alive; it was all over, I was looking forward to the rest of my life and counting all my blessings.

My breast had hardly any scarring, just a small dent. I really do admire other nudist women who dare to go nude after a mastectomy or partial breast removal. You are such courageous girls, I don’t know if I could do it. My sister-in-law in Holland, who is also a nudist, had a mastectomy three years ago. She reckons if people don’t like the look of it, bad luck; they don’t have to look! She is very brave I’d never thought very highly about my boobs, reckoned they were too small and after breastfeeding two children, too droopy. Now after nearly losing one, I love them to bits! (tit-bits?). I love wearing low-cut tops and when I see my cleavage I’m so happy I’ve got two healthy breasts. So girls, be happy with what you’ve got, be it pear shaped, apple shaped, melon size, cherry bud size – boobs are beautiful. Love them and look after them.

Do have that mammogram. Put up with that uncomfortable short-lived squeeze under the machine which is nothing compared to suffering from breast cancer. You can always prepare yourself at home; put your boob in the open fridge door and close the door.... joking J! Get to know your breasts and check them out on a regular base. Don't let your partner do it; you know your own body best. The sad truth is that in the future 1 in 2 people will suffer from cancer at some stage in their life. If you are one of those unlucky ones, then breast cancer is not the worst-case scenario. Cancer of vital organs like lungs, bowel, liver etc. is more dangerous. You can live without a breast. You can wear a prothesis or have a reconstruction made from the flap tissue around the waist. Most women have got plenty of that and who doesn't want a tummy tuck?

I believe that I'm a changed person after having faced my mortality. I don't take anything for granted anymore. I'm on a very healthy diet and still enjoy a glass of red wine with dinner. I've been told that a glass of red is very good for you – so imagine how good five glasses would be... joking again J ! I now do need a nanny nap most days and exercise a lot; the more oxygen in the blood the less chance of the cancer coming back I go to a weekly meditation class based on Ian Gawler's philosophy of healing.

At the age of 24, Gawler, an Australian athlete and veterinarian was diagnosed with bone cancer and was expected to live for only a few more months. His right leg was amputated. He completely changed his life style and now 35 years later, he is still alive. He has written several books and published meditation CD's.

I'll have a yearly mammogram for the rest of my life. The first one was a bit nerve-racking but no abnormalities were found. So we went straight away to the travel agent to book our trip to Holland we had to cancel the year before (you can read about it in TAN # 49). For the next five years I'll have to take hormone-suppressing tablets. There are side effects, but who cares; at least I'm here to complain about it! I never lost my sense of humour. My motto is “Lose your tumour, not your humour”. There is a great deal of support for breast cancer sufferers. On offer are free counseling and meditation, a 24 hours helpline to only name a few. The specially trained breast care nurses were marvelous. They offer a shoulder to cry on. They organize workshops and even help you how to set up a support group. Somewhere in country Victoria there is a support group that calls themselves “The Young and the Breastless”... J.

Seize the day; you never know when your time's up!